choosing to love recklessly

At the beginning of this year, after my moaning and complaining to my best friend (for the 1000th time) about being 31 and still single, she cut me off and challenged me with a question. "What is God's purpose for your life? It is certainly not for you to put your life on hold because you are waiting for some godly man to come sweep you off your feet. God has put you on this earth for a reason. Have you tried to find out what that reason is??"

At first, I resented her words. What did she know? She has been married for nine years to the love of her life. She knows nothing about what its like to be alone.

But then I started to think about it on my own. I came to realize that it was true. I had been putting my life on hold while waiting for that special someone. I know there have been several times when I have said "When I get married, I will  __________."

Over the next few months, I thought about what she said...a lot.

So when we had this same conversation again about two months ago - I was actually in a place to hear her words and I felt convicted. And selfish. And wasteful. All this time I had been letting my life pass me by...

During that conversation, she asked if I knew what my calling was. Some kind of ministry I could become involved in? Anything at all? Nope. I was absolutely clueless.

Then several weeks ago, she started telling me about this blog she read about a single woman who does foster care for babies. And I don't know how to describe it but something just clicked inside me and I thought, I WANT TO DO THAT. I knew I needed to pray about it to see if this was really where God was calling me. So I started praying for God's direction.

I had several, long conversations about this possibility with my best friend. She has gone through this process before when she fostered and then adopted all three of her children. The more and more we talked about it - the more and more I felt pulled in this direction.

I started telling family members of my new desire to become a single foster mom and it was met with mixed emotions. But ultimately everyone got on board and offered their complete support.

The main concern from my family members, was the heartbreak I would undoubtedly experience when the time comes to send the baby back to their birth parents or send them off with a new loving family. But Sarah had sent me an email with the following quote she found in one of the many blogs she reads about being a foster parent. I loved it and decided to use this quote as my mantra throughout this calling that God has placed on my heart:

"I will make my life uncomfortable so that they will not be. I will sacrifice time, money, resources, vacations, sleep, and go without so they don't have to. But most of all and because I love them with my entire heart and soul not withholding anything back...I WILL BE WILLING to know the heartbreak of goodbyes because every child deserves to have someone who is willing to get their heart broken for them."  - Tiffanie Lenhart

I know this will be hard but I also know that God is on my side and that with His help I can handle anything that comes my way.

In September, I will be starting the classes I need to take to get licensed as a foster parent. I'm really excited (and nervous) about starting this new chapter in my life.

"My life is not my own. We only have so much time on this earth. But each of us has a literally INFINITE capacity to demonstrate love. Love is a choice. Loving recklessly is a gift."  -Brannon

This blog will be a place for me to share my journey as I start this new chapter...